Keeping the faith

Good grief.

Have I really gone this long with this amount of crazies to write about?! The three of you who are reading this are saying, "Yes. Jay, yes you have".

Quick update for those of you who I have been an awful friend/family member to: After finishing up a season at Summer Stock near Indianapolis, I started to gather myself to move to Chicago. I arrived hear in September, landed a job within a few weeks at the place that I wanted (it took lots of interviewing-turns out, job applications are fun! who knew! [not]) and am living comfortably with two roommates that I just met but turned out to be pretty neat. That's the short of it-so if you want more juicy details, by all means: read on.

Since September I've been auditioning here and there for shows and theater companies that twinged my interest, but I'm not really serious about getting into one this early (or maybe that's just an excuse for my failure to book anything). I have really enjoyed dabbling in the audition scene here in Chicago and rubbing shoulders with people who I expect to work with and see on stage some day. The theater world is very small here, so finding people to network with has proved easier than I thought it would be.  This whole waiting thing has been all fine and dandy until recently. Yesterday recently.  I had a great coffee with a coworker of Vanessa Hofer who gave me excellent advice on starting out in the Chicago theater scene.  Oh, there's that familiar itch. So now I have turned my sights once again to that wonderfully terrible career of mine: theater.

Now before I delve into some wonderful Anna Deveare Smith again, I should tell a bit of what I've been up to since I moved.  As I said, I got a dream job at "The Spice House" which is a wonderful artisan spice shop in Old Town that sells bulk spices to restaurants, cooks, novices, and rich people who need to fill their huge kitchens somehow.  Its the type of job that keeps me moving and on my feet all day (no office job-thank goodness!), as well as falling in line with my hobbies.  I have always loved to cook and working at this small shop lets me give cooking advice to some really wonderful people.  I am probably the most inexperienced employee there, as most have been employed in a kitchen and been to culinary school.  So I try hard to make up for it with oodles of charm.  I'm sure my facade does not go unnoticed however. Charisma is powdered sugar: looks harmless but its actually a huge sticky mess.

And onto Job #2. Well. not really anymore.  A few weeks ago I was called by a ballroom dance studio that I had applied to be a desk manager at.  They wanted me to come in to interview for a dance instructor position.  I went. And for the past few weeks I have been taking lessons to become a professional Ballroom instructor and compete in local and national competitions.  Talk about feeling under qualified!  But the instructors there were great and I learned very quickly which gave me a bit of confidence. I have just recently decided not to take it, however,  as it seems like a huge jump into a completely different vocation than what I really want.  It was a hard one though: better pay, dance job, travel, better pay, did I mention the pay was a lot better?  But in the end, I know I need to keep the faith and push forward to what I really want in life: to experience people in the world of theater. Its hard to see now if its a sacrifice, or just something that was inevitable.

I'm finding that my attention and love for novelty has run rampant in the city.  I decided I needed to pick up ADS' book again (letters to a young artist), and of course: she had something for me.  Its a short one, but so timely.

"No doubt about it, more important than the race and the fight is faith.  Whatever that means, spiritual or otherwise.  It's crucial to keep the faith.  Never stop believing.  
Faith requires discipline and a lot of imagination."
-ADS

Faith and imagination are paradoxical.  Faith in the city of huge amounts of opportunity is tricky.  I'm talking about two kinds of faith here.  My two main faiths in life: faith in God-the lovely spirit and excruciating joy, and faith in myself-faith I will be humble midst selling my art and (hopefully) landing roles.  Faith means making decisions based on belief.  Never before in my life have I had to make more potentially life-altering decisions than right now.  Which is frightening, yet very exciting.  Faith means potential.  And inversely Faith is kinetic.

The next week I am striving for more purposefully faith-driven choices, using discipline and imagination: the result of which is - I think - discernment.

There. I hope that made up for the months of negligence.